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Frank played football in high school. He dated a different girl every Saturday night, but most of the time he hung out with his buddies-playing video games and partying. He was a good football player, but not great, and he stopped playing competitively after high school. He and his buddies went to State University together, and they all majored in partying. On a typical day, Frank would stumble out of bed around noon, attend a few afternoon classes, do homework for a few hours, and then get together with his friends for a night of beer drinking, babe watching, and crude jokes.
One day this guy who lived down the hall from Frank in the dorm invited him into a conversation about the meaning of life. Actually, this guy invited Frank into a conversation about something like that a few times a week. He was a Christian and he invited guys from the dorm into conversation all the time-mostly they ignored him; sometimes they taunted him. This time-for reasons Frank still doesn't really know-Frank accepted the invitation.
Frank and this Christian guy got into a deep conversation about the meaning of life and why bad things happen to good people and whether or not there is a God and whether or not it even matters. They didn't settle on any answers to these questions. That was the cool thing. This Christian guy wasn't trying to force a point of view on Frank. He just listened to his questions, and shared some of his own, and acted like he actually cared what Frank thought.
It didn't change Frank's life. After this deep conversation, he met up with his buddies and went drinking, same as usual. But, now and then, he and the guy down the hall had another conversation. Eventually, Frank agreed to meet with him now and then to study the Bible-just to satisfy his curiosity about what the Bible had to say about the meaning of life and all that stuff. He wasn't planning to become a Christian. He was just curious.
Frank's buddies didn't mind, at first. Every once in a while, he would be late joining them at night, and they'd be a few beers ahead of him. But he always caught up.
The funny thing was, Frank did become a Christian. Oh, not right away, but eventually.
Frank still hung out with his buddies. They began to notice, though, that he wasn't keeping up with the bottle count like he used to, and he wasn't laughing quite as much at their crude jokes as he used to, and he wasn't hardly telling any of his own anymore. At first, they just teased him, figuring he would eventually return to the old Frank they knew and loved. But he didn't change back. In fact, he started missing party-time altogether on Friday because he was going to some student-led worship service. Go figure.
The teasing intensified, but Frank didn't change back. Then there were some half-drunken shouting matches that almost turned into fistfights, but Frank didn't change back. Then his friends ambushed him one Friday night, so he couldn't go to the worship service, and made it clear to their old high school friend that he was not living up to their expectations, but Frank didn't change back.
It wasn't easy, but Frank broke free from his drinking buddies' expectations and, by the grace of God, changed his life. He went in a new direction. He made new friends. Overall, he's much happier now. He still misses his old friends, but he's not planning to go back.
Friends hold a lot of power in a person's life-power to define expectations. Expectations about behavior. Expectations about values. Expectations about dress and speech.
It's like these expectations form a circle-a boundary-around you. It's a flexible boundary to a certain degree. It will stretch some here and there, but try to break free from this boundary of expectations entirely and you are likely to face some challenges. If it's about following Jesus, it's worth it.
Sarah came from a perfect family. Her mom and dad were the perfect couple. Sarah was the perfect elder daughter. Her little sister Ruthie was the perfect pre-teen. They all went to church together. Dad was an elder. Mom was a deacon. Sarah sang with the worship team. Ruthie was the cutest kid in the fourth grade Sunday school class.
Everybody loved Sarah's family. Every body wanted to come from a family just like Sarah's. From the outside looking in, nothing ever went wrong in Sarah's family. And everybody in Sarah's family learned early on that it was important to maintain that appearance. When mom and dad fought at night, Sarah and Ruthie never mentioned it to anybody; they never even mentioned it to each other. When Ruthie almost failed third grade, nobody outside of the teachers at school and the special tutor that was hired to get her through knew about it. When down-sizing at dad's work threatened to cut the family income dramatically, everybody teamed up to maintain appearances.
It worked well, too. Sarah's family was really good at maintaining appearances. Then Sarah got, well you know, pregnant. It wasn't supposed to have happened. She'd been careful. But it happened.
Mom and dad did their best to be supportive. They loved Sarah, and though they were disappointed, they still loved her. Of course, there was only one solution. They promised to support her all the way to the clinic, where she could get this little problem taken care of. They promised to be there for her all the way afterward too, so she could get back to her normal life as soon as possible, just like nothing had ever happened. Nobody would ever have to know. That would be the best solution.
There was only one problem. As much as Sarah did not want to be a parent, she couldn't quite bring herself to accept her parents' solution. Surely there was another option. She thought and she prayed and she thought and she prayed. The more she prayed, the more the love and mercy of God poured into her hear, until finally she had the courage to tell her parents she intended to explore the possibility of adoption.
Familes hold a lot of power in a person's life-power to define expectations. Expectations about behavior. Expectations about values. Expectations about upholding family honor.
It's like these expectations form a circle-a boundary-around you. It's a flexible boundary to a certain degree. It will stretch some here and there, but try to break free from this boundary of expectations entirely and you are likely to face some challenges. If it's about following Jesus, it's worth it.
Carl was a physician, a specialist in cosmetic and reconstructive surgery. He made enough to pay his insurance bills and still put all three of his kids through college. He'dalways attended church. He never thought about it that much. It was just what he did on Sundays. It helped him deal with the stress of the rest of the week.
In his fifties, Carl started getting restless. He found himself reading the Bible more and more. It was like Jesus was getting bigger and louder in his life, refusing to limit himself to Sunday significance and prodding Carl for more and more attention on Monday and Tuesday and… It was a little disconcerting to Carl, but it wasn't a bad thing. It was actually kind of stimulating.
Carl joined this small group Bible study that met during the week at his church. Every day for nine months he read his way through the Bible, and every week for nine months he met with this small group to talk about it and to pray together. Now that was scary; Carl had never prayed out loud where other people could hear him. He got used to it though, so it wasn't so bad, and he actually liked hearing the other people pray. One of the other guys in the group sounded just like the pastor when he prayed, but everybody else had their own style and their own voice.
Four months or so into the Bible study, Carl started looking forward to the end. It wasn't that he disliking the study or the group, but he was missing his favorite TV show on Wednesday night, and he hadn't even taken the plastic off the latest issue of his golfing magazine.
Eight months into the Bible study, Carl was seriously contemplating closing down his medical practice and offering his skills to his denomination's medical missionary organization. Every where he turned he saw pictures of kids in other parts of the world who lived with correctable deformities just because they did not have access to skilled surgeons or the money to pay for skilled surgeons. Every time he prayed his heart was filled with compassion that seemed to come from somewhere outside of him. Every time he opened his Bible, he heard the words, "follow me." Every time he met with the Bible study group, they offered him encouragement and affirmation. Even his kids thought it was a great idea, and several of his colleagues offered to help find new jobs for his office personnel and assistants.
There was only one thing holding Carl back. Every night, as he drifted off to sleep, he would remember how hard he had worked at medical school. He would relive the stress of residency and Board certification, and the years he spent working at a hospital. He would replay in his mind the motivational speeches he had made to himself back then about how all this hard work would eventually pay off. He would recall how long it took to pay off his debt. He would list in his mind all the luxuries he could finally afford, and he would smile about how much he enjoyed those luxuries. Most of all, he would remember the expectations he had for himself, and he would remind himself how closing his practice and giving his skills away for next to nothing in some far part of the world had never even registered on his list of goals, priorities, and expectations.
Our own expectations of ourselves hold a lot of power in our lives. Expectations about behavior. Expectations about values. Expectations about goals and accomplishments.
It's like these expectations form a -a boundary-around you. It's a flexible boundary to a certain degree. It will stretch some here and there, but try to break free from this boundary of expectations entirely and you are likely to face some challenges. If it's about following Jesus, it's worth it.
Following Jesus frequently means stepping out in new directions, directions that challenge the expectations of our friends or our families or even ourselves. Following Jesus frequently means breaking free from the boundary of expectations that have defined us in the past, so that our Lord's call to follow can define our future.
Even Jesus, when he entered into his ministry, had to face the resistance of those whose expectations he was no longer meeting.
Luke writes that wherever Jesus taught, all the people thought well of him. Until, that is, he came to his own home town, where he was known as Mary and Joseph's boy, the carpenter's son. When he announced to them a life purpose that went beyond repairing furniture and tools to remaking lives, they were stunned. When he announced to them a life purpose that would carry the love and mercy of God beyond the borders of their own expectations, they were furious.
They got up, drove him out of the town, and threatened to throw him off a cliff. But he was walking in the power of the Spirit, and he walked right through the crowd (and their boundary of expectations) and went on his way.
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